I’ve been waiting so long to find this.
Baby got a bath today~
How did you get a dinosaur
This is my child! Please ask your parents about the dino and the egg!!!
"How do you like living alone, Henry?" I ask myself.
"I’ve got a better question," I reply. "What if all my hoodies sat at the dining room table like they were friends?"
are they drinking detergent
What else are hoodies supposed to drink?
there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator
see what intrigues me about college isn’t the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this
Quite possible the greatest tweet ever written.
when the back of my neck gets tickled
studies show that i am in fact in a perpetual state of givin em the old razzle dazzle